Journal Entry #4
I was at this camp for handicapped and mentally challenged kids. While on staff we were assigned to a cabin with several other girls and staff. We each had one little girl that we mentored throughout the week. Each day we had a devotion for the girls, one day we asked the girls a question. The question was, What do you think Jesus looks like? And Grace one of the girls who had cerebral palsy answers, "I have seen him in picture bibles and I think he has long brown hair, a long white robe, like the Angels, and a blue thing across it, and he has a hairnet above his head." What she really meant was a halo. But it was so awesome to see that she was actually trying to see what Jesus looks like and nobody really knows that. All we know is that we were created in his image. I'm so excited to get to Heaven and actually be in AWE of his presence! And I think Grace is too! just to see what he actually looks like!
Journal Entry #5
Jesus,
There's so much I want to say. Teach me Father. Show me how you want me to live. I'm a broken piece of human. Take this nothingness of me and make me whole and pure. I do struggle Lord. And this is so much harder than I ever dreamed. I want to be purely unashamed of you Jesus. even when it's really hard. I want to have a passion like the one I had when I was a little girl. ya know, I use to think about what it would be to be a cat or a fish or, ya know, not human. But then I question why I'm human. You made me a human for a reason and that's so amazing Lord. you have work for me to do. Have my heart Lord. I can't keep doing this for me. My running. My relationship with Jesse. my relationships with other friends. Lead my heart. Help me be a light. I'm ready to see! I have so many distractions Lord, please turn these nasty distractions into witnessing tools and learning experiences. change them to ways to find you and love you. Change my frame of mind. I love you Jesus.
Journal Entry #6
Lord,
I speak peace to my heart. I am unsure of your plans for me, but I put all my trust and faith in you. I know that you have set me in this place/time for a reason. Thank you for giving me freedom to live in. I would be nowhere without you, and as much as I say it, I really mean it when I say, I LOVE YOU! I realize I take you for granted most of the time, for that I'm sorry. I've tried sharing this concept with others, but I know only you would understand when I say: I feel sorry for you.
Your children don't even know who you are! Even if they do they ignore you. I'm sorry I've been that type of child. I'm sorry I haven't focused all of my time on you. I'm sorry I haven't seeked you. I'm sorry I haven't listened to you in the past. I'm sorry I haven't looked to YOU for answers. I'm sorry I use you. I'm sorry I only want to hear the answers I want to hear when I talk to you. I'm sorry I put you on the back burner. I'm sorry that I don't talk about You to others. I'm sorry you're long suffering. I'm sorry you have to keep forgiving me, as hard as it is. I'm sorry I mistreat you. I can say sorry so many times. You always forgive me. Never in my life have I met anyone as kind as you. The way you love me, is miraculous. If I was you, I would've stopped loving me a LONG TIME AGO. I'm glad you haven't. I'm glad you look at me like it's the first time you've seen my face. I have and always will love you. I may have a crappy way of showing it. but I love you...
Thanks for that,
Your Child
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